Entertainment: Television  Picket Fences, which used to be carried by CBS, is currently being shown by the F/X channel. I found this show late in its life, in its third season. The first episode I saw was the one
with Paul Winfield in it ("The Bus Stops Here, originally aired on 10/7/94), where he plays this hardlined judge forcing the busing of "inner city" Green Bay kids into the sleepy town of
Rome, Wisconsin. The episode really caught me because it was so morally ambiguous -- that I, the audience, had to choose between right and wrong. I was hooked, and I was
lucky enough to enjoy the rest of the third season and parts of the fourth (the fourth season was probably the worst of the lot since David Kelley, the show's creator and the best writer, left to pursue other projects such as
Chicago Hope). In its prime, Picket Fences also had an uncanny ability to sneak killer music into episode, reminiscent of David Lynch's Twin Peaks
. Two episodes that sticks in my mind: the one where Carter falls in love with the lounge singer he pronounced dead on arrival and the one where the new mayor (the mailman-turned-mayor) gets gonged
on the head with a pan and is subsequently put into the large freezer. In any case, Picket Fences was really one heck of a show. So are you a Jay or a Dave fan? Me, I'm a fan of Late Night with David Letterman
, even though Leno's monologues are almost always consistently funnier. I heard somewhere that Leno has consistently beaten Letterman in the ratings game since Leno featured Hugh Grant as the guest after his little
media -- shall we say -- blow-up with Ms. Divine Brown, but I don't care. Ratings, shmatings! Letterman is funnier because he's just plain mean. He's just so bitter that you just can't
help but to like him (well, at least I do). I do miss Dave's old days, when he was with NBC and was on air at 12:30am. He kept me company during many of my late nights at Cornell, and for that, I'll forever be grateful. I hope he
always stays his goofy, split-toothed self for as long as he can.
I started watching The X-Files in its second season. At the time, I really liked it; The X-Files was innovative, hip, and sometimes made you think. Now I'm not so sure. The show
suffers too much from what I would call the "Gilligan Effect" (GE); let me elaborate. About 90% of plot for the episodes of Gilligan's Island consisted of the following:
- Gilligan does something that's beyond human stupidity (also known as "Gee, I wonder what this does?")
- The castaways find out about Gilligan's goof (a.k.a. "Gilligan, you idiot!") and chide him
- Something horrible happens, but Gilligan's mistake saves the day (a.k.a. "Gilligan little buddy, you did it again!")
Now let's test my theory for a typical X-Files episode:
- Something horrible and violent is going on
- Mulder and Scully go on site to see the horrible and violent something
- Mulder suggests a ludicrous occult explanation (a.k.a. "Scully, in 123 A.D., a group of Bshyrky wisemen went into a bar and...")
- Scully denies Mulder's claim, opting for a logical/scientific explanation (a.k.a. "Mulder, don't you think the knife stuck in the victim's back has something to do with it?"), even though she has
already been through two full TV seasons of repeated occult phenomena
- About :51 into the hour, we find out that Mulder is right (can you believe it?)
- About :54 into the hour, Mulder and Scully find the indisputable evidence which will unravel all sorts of secrets (including the whereabouts of Mulder's sister, the Cancer Man's shoe size, and
the mystery behind the canceling of "21 Jump Street" by "Mr. X")
- About :56 into the hour, the aforementioned evidence disappears by means of the evil government
 I'm thrilled when I see an episode that breaks away from this template. Jose Chung comes to mind; so does the one about the cockroaches, and that absolutely moving one about that guy who could foresee the death of
others. The surprise from the fourth season has been the ode to Cancer Man. I just about died when he said, sitting on the bench, "Life is like a box of chocolates" and went on and on and on...I think I've said enough about The X-Files
for now...except one more thing: Is it just me or does Scully always looks like she has to throw up?  Seinfeld, the funniest show on TVland, perhaps the funniest show ever. Basically, it's Seinfeld's stand-up stuff stuffed into four caricatures. Who
would have thought? It's great to see the old episodes in reruns, especially the stuff from the first season. Too much stand-up, not enough craziness. There was still "something" in those old shows -- that's
probably why they never hit home. Not enough nothing! The best thing about Seinfeld is when you talk about an old episode with a bunch of friends. It first starts out like this: "That one...where Mr. Pitt does that
Hitler thing at the end..." "Isn't that the one where Elaine keeps on stuffing her mouth with Ju-Ju Fruit?" "Talking about candy, remember that
Junior Mints episode with Kramer and Jerry?" And so on. Often, the episodes all get mixed up in my head...and all I can remember are the individual gags. Truly the evidence of a show about nothing.  For some bitter, hilarious satire, there's nothing better than The Simpsons. The golden years of The Simpsons seems to have come and gone (when Conan
O'Brien and John Schwartzwhatshisname wrote the bulk of the episodes), but it's still standing strong. If you are a newcomer to the works of Matt Groening (pronounced "gray-ning"), I highly recommend his books of hell --
Life Is Hell, Love Is Hell, School Is Hell, among others. The Big Book of Hell is a "best of" of these books. There you will meet Binky and
Bongo and also those weirdo, fezz-loving gay guys Akbar and Jeff. By the way, check out my
mini-archive of Simpson-fied classical paintings. To Untelevision
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