From: tke@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (thomas.j.epstein)
Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1992 22:18:00 GMT
Sender: news@cbfsb.cb.att.com
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Organization: AT&T
Lines: 87
Here it is, the hottest in what's in store for those
of us who wish to never see it end. The word is that
ST:TNG is going to go into an EIGHTH season with the
aid of the Sidney Sheldon production team. You may
recall their outstanding sit-com work in the 60's and
70's. A partial list of the season's shows and plot out
lines follows:
----Spoilers? NOT.
1) The Honesty Factor
Prior to his leaving for shore leave on Numnutz 6, Piccard
instructs Reiker NOT to move the Enterprise from its berth in
spacedock; however R just can't resist taking it for a spin
"once around the system." Upon returning to dock, R
notices that there is a nasty dent in the hull and the paint-
job is ruined and P is on his way to the ship! Hilarity
ensues as the crew try to help #1 avoid getting in a whole lot
of #2. Eventually, R con fesses. P tells him the dent
wasn't his fault. P actually caused the damage during a
tailgate party he and the cap tain of the Yamato threw for a
professional tribble stamper they met on Remus while
shopping for I "heart" Romulus tee-shirts.
2) The Dickens you say?
The episode starts with a nasty food fight in 10 Forward.
Guinan mushes a grapefruit into Worf's face and discovers
it makes a pretty good juicer. The Klingon attempts to kill
himself due to the dishonor and his screams from the agony of
trying to stuff himself into a liter bottle of Diet Coke
wakes the captain from his nap. After telling the crew that
untill further notice all ship's replicators will be set to
Mrs. Paul's fish stick soup and Alterian yak kidney pie, P
returns to his bed where he dreams that he is Scrooge.
The other crew members appear as other "A Christmas Carol"
characters and hilarity ensues!
Special guest: Jonathan Winters as Tiny Tim.
3.) The Q-tip
That nutty Q is back! He gives Worf a hot tip on which
Traflapthian Dingleberry Beast will win the Phlegmstra 9
Derby. By mere chance, LaForge is going to Phlegmstra 9 for a
smart-guy convention the very day of the big race. W asks L to
bet his family honor (which he now keeps in a Garfield the Cat
lunchbox) on Snot's the Winner, a bagillion-to-one shot,
rumored to have Regulan Herpies. L takes the lunch box, but
later decides that he cannot allow his friend to throw away his
honor on a stupid bet, so he doesn't make the wager. Snot's the
Winner wins! (Can you believe it?) When L returns to the ship,
W asks for the godzillion-bagillion Farquarian Danari he won,
L makes up a wild story about being abducted by Romulans on
the way home. With what is sure to become the Trekker catch
-phrase of the decade, "Eat my manly Klingon boot, you
squeaky-voiced computer geek!" W kicks L's face into a bloody
oozing froth. Hilarity ensues.
Guest star: Denise Crosby as Yar's grandson jockey, Bubba.
4) The The Factor
The Bridge Crew all sit around a kitchen table in the holodeck
and remember past episodes with the word \`the\' in the title.
Trk Leonard guests as the Sarek clone busboy.
This features a montage of clips interspersed with witty com
ments from the crew (\`Gee Worf, you STILL look like a
deformed turtle, you hostile piece of tribble droppings,\' quips
troi. A touching retrospective.
5) Troi and Troi again
Troi is mistaken for her evil identical third cousin, Athens
while both are vacationing on Raisa. When Piccard beams
down to the planet, Athena beds him while barking like a dog.
Later P meets T in her hotel room and is confused when she
doesn't know why he keeps saying, \`Mon Due! Whatever is a
handsome French fire hydrant zuch az I going to do if zee poo
dle tries to piddle on em,\' in a forced Parisian accent.
Well, that's all for now. I have the stories for the whole season
if anyone wants em.
[Note from Sung: I would love to get my hands on the rest of the
episodes, but unfortunately, Mr. Epstein never responded to my
request. I think by now, his e-mail address may even be defunct.
If anybody was able to get a copy from Mr. Epstein, please e-mail
it to me!] |
